Self Conscious to Self Aware

You feel normal. Then you go out into large crowds, or you are invited to a party or date. You put off committing to it, or skip the event entirely. It doesn't take much, because you're comfortable where you are, with your tools that are designed to keep you happy: the computer, the TV, Facebook, your iPhone, money to order pizza.

Or, you decide to go, after changing your clothes 5 times and still not being comfortable. You feel paralyzed, and don't talk most of the time you are out, because you feel you have nothing to say. This was my nightmare. It feels painful. For a moment to even go back, and that person comes back from time to time.

This self consciousness could stem from anything: critical parents. Job loss. Car accident. Health problem. It's a neuropathology. Want to get past it? Here are 5 ways how.

1. Meet Yourself. Stand in front of a mirror. Now with a veil of compassion, look into your eyes, and don't look away. See yourself as younger, newer, fresher. Give yourself time to Marvel at your youth. Then see your face as older, sagging, paler skin. Wrinkles. Pockets of fat, hollow spots. Not what's there: worse. Confront where your face is going. Then see your face for what it is right now; find the opportunity to live, the fortune, the miracle that is your face. You may find with this, that it brings up insecurity:  flaws, pimples, confront it. Stare. See. You may find your expressions and reactions leaving you vulnerable, open. This is where you want to be. It's from this raw moment you are going to Love Your Face. This Face that got you here, good or bad, this face that can't hide expression, or years. This Face that has the opportunity to be shown out to others, alive and Loving and Imperfectly Perfect.

2. Feel Others' Love. This is best done in the shower. (I did this in a small stainless steel closet shower, so I know *you* can do it.) Think about the last time someone didn't return your love. Easy to do? It was for me. Really get into it. Feel how painful it was when that love wasn't returned. Feel how lonely you feel. Really define what is giving you the pain. You laid yourself out there and reaaally got rejected. He/She doesn't care, call, make an effort. Feel that pain. At this point: Realize the depth of your pain--is the depth of your capacity for love.

It's at this point where you see the opportunity that exists within you to give the right love to the right person who can handle you and the needs or demands that you require. (It's okay to have emotional demands, by the way.)

Then go from that deep sense of pain and realization... to imagining... "Well, what if that person actually *did* love me as deeply as I wanted them to? How would that feel?" It was this point that made my knees buckle. It was the most dear gift. It was as if I was experiencing how much of a loss it was for them. What if you are rejecting the type of Love you truly needed?

Carefully put down the walls, and imagine the Love pouring out of the showerhead, seeping into your torso. Even though you may feel completely alone in this world--(I literally was) you can find one spark of Love, right from that beating heart inside your chest. Love yourself the way you want to be Loved. Respect yourself the way you want to be respected. When you are waiting for that call, that email, that text, connect with yourself. Feel in your bones that you are worthy. This is the seed from the vine of Love growing within you, and it is hardy. Nurture this seedling as you grow, cultivating its form.

3. Assess your Life: One way I did this was to list everything I did Not like about myself. I gave myself permission with my newfound Self Love to venture a peek backwards, and list and confront all the things I didn't like about my life. I made sure to stick to circumstances and keep away from the things I couldn't help, such as my mole, or my hammertoe. Then I went through that list and found the things I wanted that were different from where I was. I was single, broke and alone. I was for the first time in my life physically fit, working with amazing people but earning a modest wage. I wanted to be married and have kids, but it seemed so far away. I then listed the things I loved about myself; the things I had to offer in business, in love, the things I could cultivate in myself.  This gave me something with which to work; a place to start.

4. List the things for which you will not settle. This is the Life's Buffet of Opportunity that is something we can continually visit: For me, this was being an endurance cyclist, a happily married, well loved and loving wife, a dependable, loving mother, and an insightful, caring and flexible business owner.

All these things came to me because I placed the order, and followed the path I laid out in front of me. Given the proper steps of deciding to, or not to, I'm seeing that every event could go very wrong (hence be an opportunity) or very right (opportunity coming from hard work) to get me where I must go. Making decisions became a lot easier for me because I had a more refined, concentrated Focus.

5. Develop an Observer; or Teacher within you.  Continually assess:  are your Actions or Decisions benefiting or hindering you? Name it anything you like; we all have this Source inside of us, and most of us have the capacity to be still for a few moments to weigh our actions, our reactions or 'where do we go from here' that carves out the path for which we won't settle. The more often we sit with our Inner Teacher, or better yet, develop a walking Inner Teacher that weighs our actions as they happen, the more Self Aware we are.

A Perpetual Fresh Start...

Today is March 4th... a day better than most days, due to a breakthrough I keep having. I'm realizing that all I've been changing in the past was the 'effect' because I had different beliefs about certain things.
I'm starting to change the cause of why I'm holding onto this weight! I realize holding onto this weight will cost me an idyllic life with my children, and will severely limit me. To me, that is devastating, especially to say 'out loud'! Despite my physical capabilities I'm able to fake it pretty well with my kids, but I can see they get disappointed when they want to play with me and I
don't join in. This MUST NOT CONTINUE.

Sure, I've given myself public verbal lashings before, and I've even had blogposts about how to start a fitness regime; but that's not what this is.  This is a committed decision I am making to my girls because my emotional pain is so great, and the prospect of it continuing breaks my heart.

I always saw myself coaching a little girls' soccer team or showing my daughters what ascension, self-discipline, and self-respect is through the martial arts.  I see myself consistently building my mental muscle through allowing my fitness regime to be enjoyable.

I know now that changing the Cause and not the Effect is what creates lasting change. I also know how wonderful it will feel to back up all I know about fitness by ACTUALLY APPLYING ALL I KNOW.

Knowing something is wonderful! But knowledge is nothing without the wisdom of experience. You can know something is a phenomenon... but until you create your conditions to make yourself that phenomenon, and finding the right leverage to bring yourself through...  you are selling yourself short on making magic in your life.

I'll give you an example. I've been reading about the stock market. I've purchased Anthony Robbins programs, read The Wealthy Barber, watched financial shows, etc. All the knowledge I've acquired means nothing until I jump into the game and learn the cycles of growth and change, speculation and emotion of the marketplace. The indicators and charts mean little until I have some sort of interest in the stockmarket. Leverage about the worthiness of my stocks keeps me excited and focused, and if something goes wrong, I know to change my approach until I find a strategy that is resilient!

Who wants adversity? No one, but it happens. How do you become resilient? Find a different association with how you view adversity. Working for Starbucks, when we did reviews, a partner's weakness was approached as a 'learning opportunity'. That's part of the reason why Starbucks is one of Fortune 5oo's best Company to work for. I'm sure one can find an example of a negative way to highlight someone's weakness; just watch 'The Office'.  I digress...

There are many ways I can look at my weight loss. I could associate it with '::oh god, I need to lose this weight, ugh::' or I can see it as an exciting opportunity for growth and activity! I can see it as a means of conscious expansion and physical development! I can see developing physically as a way to be actively closer to my children and husband! I can see my shrinking body as a conduit for balance and complete equanimity and a way to feel One-ness with others, including potential clients. I feel in my heart and spirit that this is the path to which I MUST decidedly commit myself.

::STEPPING UP!::

Ken Wilber's Stance on Pride

I have a long standing fanatacism about Ken Wilber. Gone are the days where I hung out with my single friends at coffee shops, meeting places, and doing yoga with fellow cohorts within the Integral sphere of my circle. Gone are the days where I listened to a Kosmic Consciousness marathon for all of 10 hours and lengthy discussions about memes, the integral spiral, etc. Some interests endure and transcend faulty friendships though, and I am so grateful for that. I'm so thankful that I got the chance to meet those people, and one day will re-connect further on down the stream.

So years later, I have become okay with loving Ken Wilber again, without it feeling like he could only be 'owned' by those I with whom was close.

He has posted a video that is RIGHT ON THE MONEY about our emerging Consciousness in the 21st Century, and the pride we are entitled to feel about our own awareness. We are in the 6th wave of humanity, on the cusp and within the unfolding of some of the most intelligent, aware, progressive thinkers of our time. Love and consciousness and gratitude and free enterprise is smeared around at the speed of thought through social venues and sharing of ideas on the internet. Thank Goodness. As an extension of the gratitude I feel, I leave you this video.

The Next Food Frontier: Knowing the Glycemic Index

This is one product I feel great in endorsing: a Vegan Cookbook that mentions the Glycemic Index, Insulin, and Potential Insulin-Resistance (diabetic) trends, and talks about pH level.

This is all revolutionary information, and all the experts in the field are all saying the same thing.  So take the quiz below, then *watch* this transformative video that explains in great detail why paying attention to glucose levels and keeping your insulin down will help you lose weight. Oh, and if you want to go even deeper into the rabbit hole that is the Apex of Nutritional Information, Click HERE.

Glycemic Index Quiz » exam maker

Start Living Authentically Happy by Letting Go.

Patchless Path to Being a Non-Smoker for LIFE

"Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it." ~ Ann Landers

"Don't mistake pleasure for happiness.  They are a different breed of dogs." ~ Josh Billings

Addiction is a difficult animal to live with. It is the idea that something is in charge of you more than you are in charge of you. You wake up and think about it. Every time you have a spare moment you think about it, are accustomed to having it in your hands. When you use your lungs, meaning with every inhale, you are wanting that chemical in your body. It relaxes you; energizes you, calms you, centers you. It gives you comfort and lower amounts of stress if you're having a bad day.  If you are having a good day, you use it to celebrate. Does any of this sound familiar?



Of the 250 known harmful chemicals in tobacco smoke, more than 50 have been found to cause cancer. These chemicals include:

• arsenic (a heavy metal toxin)
• benzene (a chemical found in gasoline)
• beryllium (a toxic metal)
• cadmium (a metal used in batteries)
• chromium (a metallic element)
• ethylene oxide (a chemical used to sterilize medical devices)
• nickel (a metallic element)
• polonium-210 (a chemical element that gives off radiation)
• vinyl chloride (a toxic substance used in plastics manufacture

It's time to start living an authentically happy life; not one of addiction, spending needless money, and putting known carcinogens into your body. You can be mindful and victorious, and start taking control of your life again. Think of how much money will be in your pocket. Think of the time you will gain back, think of how much you will taste, smell, feel and inhale *clean* air. Think of the healing that your lungs will go through given time; think of the tumors that are already in your body that will diminish with time.


Take charge of your life! Click to get a Patchless Path to being a Non-Smoker.

Cultural Tea Revival

Do not believe we are simply what these eyes can see.

….Now we are music together,

sharing one cup and an armful of roses….

Let the beauty we love be what we do! --Rumi






I’ve quit drinking coffee. Yes, I've finally done it. How, you ask? It was obvious I needed to stop. My body was not responding, and I was requiring more to get that warm buzz, and I could tell I was ruining this Gift I've been given, which is my physical form! Strongly put, you say? When's the last time you have thanked your body for breathing, for walking, for seeing and reading? I hadn't in a long time, and now I do.

As a result of this new-found gratitude, I’ve switched to tea as a form of comfort and soothing as I go through my daily routine. It's better for my body as it doesn't throw my pH out of whack as coffee did. That wasn't all though. I had another reason to quit coffee: As a metaphor for life, I want to show my children how to cultivate manners and etiquette through the form of tea time. When they get older and raise kids of their own, I want this time to be a positive memory where they learned to act out their imagination and learn social grace with whomever they choose to keep company.

For my personal gain, however, I am curious about the culture of tea in the Orient. In China, the Buddhist tea ceremony could spur a form of Grace through mindful routine. By mindful, I mean down to the way one stirs their tea. Check out these two forms of teatime, and see if you can't help but embrace some of the ideas brought out by these two cultures!

Check out a charming interpretation of the history of tea here.

Tea Ceremony History

The evolution of the Tea Ceremony mirrors the growth and importance of tea within Chinese culture. In the beginning, tea was cultivated and used solely as herbal medicine mostly within temples. Monks began to use tea to teach a respect for nature, humility and an overall sense of peace and calm. In fact, the spirit of the Tea Ceremony is described as he, jing, yi, zhen which translates to peace, quiet, enjoyment and truth. Monks felt they could illustrate deep philosophical concepts through tea service. It is for that reason that the underlying philosophies of Confucianism, Taoism and Buddhism blend together through the Tea Ceremony. Over time, people recognized the health benefits of tea but also its overall enjoyment. Tea ceremonies could be seen in memorial celebrations for both emperors and family ancestors.

The first written account of tea ceremonies was during the Tang Dynasty over 1200 years ago. The term to describe the serving of tea was initially called cha dao or the way of tea. Japanese monks traveling through China during this period began to learn tea and tea culture. After bringing this knowledge back to Japan, tea ceremonies evolved in Japan as it blended with Japanese culture resulting in the well-known Japanese Tea Ceremony and is still called cha dao. Although cha dao originated in China, many felt a new term was needed to distinguish between Japanese and Chinese tea ceremonies. In 1970, a Taiwanese tea master Lu Zi Kuang coined the term cha yi or art of tea, to represent current Chinese tea ceremonies.

There are six major aspects to consider when performing a Tea Ceremony. The following is a summary of both the technical knowledge and subtle skills for a successful ceremony.

1. Attitude – The attitude of the person performing the ceremony should reflect both a happy and confident demeanor. The performer should exude a calm and relaxed manner to create a peaceful and enjoyable tea ceremony.
2. Tea Selection – There are many considerations when selecting the right tea. In addition to fragrance, shape and taste, the tea should have a beautiful story and name.
3. Water Selection – The best quality tea leaves will have poor taste if bad quality water is used. Therefore, select pure, light and clean water to ensure a wonderful tasting tea.
4. Teaware Selection – It is important to select the correct teaware for brewing your tea leaves. In addition, allow your participants to fully appreciate the teaware by selecting both useful and beautiful items.
5. Ambiance – A peaceful and calm environment can be created with a clean, comfortable and quiet room. Artwork can be used to enhance the overall atmosphere of the space.
6. Technique – The basic skills for brewing tea are needed but also a graceful manner reflected through hand movements, facial expressions and clothing.

Teatime in Tibet

“Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis
on which the world earth revolves - slowly, evenly, without
rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment.
Only this moment is life.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

Tibet's Tea History

The Chinese had introduced tea to Tibet by the dawn of the 9th century. Tibet's rugged climate and rocky terrain made cultivation of their own plants difficult, so tea had to be imported from China via yak caravan. The long, tiring journey into Tibet by yak took nearly one year and was threatened not only by the dramatic terrain of some of the highest mountains in the world, but by tea-seeking thieves and pirates. To keep up with the high Tibetan tea demand, nearly two to three hundred tea-laden yaks entered the country daily.

Tea became so popular in Tibet and the surrounding areas that it was used as a form of currency. Compressed tea was a common form of payment for almost anything, and workers and servants were routinely paid in this way.

Traditional Tibetan Tea
Traditionally, Tibetan tea is made by boiling the leaf for about half an hour before passing the liquid through a strainer made of horsehair (sometimes today made of plastic) into a long wooden container. Traditionally, yak butter and salt are added to the tea and churned until emulsified. These additives help replace the fat and salt lost by those living in the high-altitude regions of the Himalayan Mountains. Younger generations of Tibetans sometimes drink a variation of Indian Chai.

A Tibetan Staple
Tea remains a Tibetan staple, with per-person consumption of up to 40 cups or more daily. Tibetan etiquette dictates that no guest should go without tea and that his or her cup can never be empty.

Is Endurance in the Genes?

Can you remember a time when knowing your true genetic potential seemed more like science fiction than science fact? Well, scientists are one step closer to being capable of predicting whether you should select endurance sports for your children and grandchildren. Researchers in Israel have uncovered a consistent genetic variance displayed by exceptional endurance athletes.

Variations in the NRF2 gene were evaluated and compared between more than 150 elite track athletes, both long-distance athletes and sprinters, and 240 non-athletic adults. The NRF2 gene has previously been found to play a role in mitochondrial biogenesis, or the production of mitochondria. Consequently, it may help moderate oxidative stress and reduce inflammation.

Researchers determined that the genetic variant was found in 80% of the elite endurance athletes, whereas only 46% of sprinters exhibited similar characteristics.

Although an exact understanding of how this particular gene affects endurance performance is not available, this information may eventually lead to the ability to predict athletic prowess. Moreover, according to researchers, we may truly be capable of knowing if we were "Born to Run."

Robert Preidt. (2010) Long-Distance Runners May Have Endurance in Their Genes. HealthDay News. February 18^th.

Eynon. N., et al (2010) Interaction between SNPs in the NRF2 gene and elite endurance performance. Physiological Genomics. 41: 78-81